We're facebook friends in real life
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
