Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
