How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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