Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So vagazzling was a success
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