Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
