He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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