Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
