i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
