Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We are two peas in an std pod
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
