we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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