Got a toothbrush?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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