oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
