My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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