yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
