Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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