??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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