we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
