Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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