Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
