just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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