theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
two words...techno handjob
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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