To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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