i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
