someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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