last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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