why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
