Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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