Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
