So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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