Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
