I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
