just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
