Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
