the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
