If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ladies don't puke and tell
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
