pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
