so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
