Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
