Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
