So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
