Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
