The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
