Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
