He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
