I wish I could teleport
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
pray to the hookup gods
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
