no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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