she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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