My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
