I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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