on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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